The Solutions to Life's 10 Biggest Problems!

Every day clients tell me about their problems, often in great detail, and I've noticed patterns that show up over and over. For many people, life’s problems are viewed as "not enough money" or "not enough time". For couples, the problems are often around "communication" or "parenting" or sex. They think if they only had more money or more time or better sex or a better job, things would be wonderful.
 
But it doesn’t work that way, because these things are not the BIG PROBLEM. From my experience, I suggest life's really big problems are:
 
1. Tunnel Vision. The tendency to focus only on the immediate crisis or sore spot. Under stress, things look worse or more complex than they really are. The solution: Perspective. Ask if it will matter in 6 months. Ask what else is going on? How did I create this situation and, in an ideal world, what would I like to do about it?
 
2. Fear. The anxiety or terror that things will go badly, that we will fail or be embarrassed. The solution: Humor and Curiosity. Modern life has very few saber-tooth tigers. The situation is rarely life or death. Ask, What's the worst that can happen? What's the best? What can I learn? What would I do if I had no fear?
 
3. Confusion. The sense of being lost or unclear about our direction. The sense that we don't know our own priorities anymore. The solution: Responsible Choices. Choose your values and priorities and set your own path. Your life is yours. Check your moral compass, pick a direction and do something extraordinary!
 
4. Guilt. The belief that we have hurt or failed or sinned and deserve punishment. Guilt is either accurate, because sometimes we do behave badly, or it is false and simply an illusion. The solution: If we have transgressed, we must make restitution, ask forgiveness, learn from our error and move on. If it is false guilt, set it down as an unnecessary and irrational burden.
 
5. Shame. The belief that we are worth-less than others, that we have a terrible, incurable flaw. It is not that we have done something wrong (guilt), but that we are bad or wrong. The solution: Clear, rational thinking. Everyone has behaved badly, but no one was created badly! Any flaws only serve to make you stronger, more heroic or more compassionate toward others.
 
6. Loneliness. The belief that no one loves us, that no one cares and we must desperately cling to anyone who finds us attractive or acceptable. This creates dependency, not intimacy. The solution: Accurate Self-Assessment. Not everyone will love you, but many people will if they meet you, get to know you, and spend time working/playing along side you.
 
7. Resentment. Holding anger and refusing to move beyond real or imagined mistreatment in the past. Some people spend their whole lives as "victims", nurturing a terrible event in their past. The solution: Let go! Life is not fair and people do not always behave well or kindly. Use your trauma to make you wise, kind, gentle, and strong. Holding anger will not work.
 
8. Self-Doubt. The repeated, endless questioning of your own abilities, opinions or actions. The inability to take a stand, to act boldly, or to follow-through. The solution: Action! Think clearly, then take action and follow-through. Start small, but do it! You are the world's expert on your life! Use your wisdom to live well.
 
9. Stubbornness. The refusal or inability to re-assess a situation, change your mind, or admit you were wrong. The solution: Wisdom and Humility. Only a fool stays on a course that is headed for disaster! Search for new and better information, remain flexible, open and creative. When the situation changes, adjust accordingly and set a new course.

 
10. Addiction. Humans become addicted to drugs, but we also become addicted to our jobs, our opinions or our lifestyle. We can be addicted to people and need them rather than love them. The solution: Take a vacation! Periodically, walk in someone else's shoes. Break your habits, re-arrange your schedule, delegate those things that only you can do "right". Use habits and traditions to set you free, don't let habits enslave you!


"Written by Dr. Philip E. Humbert, writer, speaker and success coach. Dr. Humbert has over 300 free articles, tools and resources for your success, including a great newsletter! It's all on his website at:  http://www.philiphumbert.com "

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The Self Belief You Need For Life

Author: mgriffiths

Self-belief, or the confidence in your own abilities and judgment is essential to every person. Even if we are given many talents, if we lack confidence in our abilities, all these talents become useless.



Imagine trying to come in for a job interview, completely devoid of any belief in your abilities. Do you think you will be hired? Or even in school - you know the answer to a question, but doubts enter your mind, and feelings of insecurity engulf you…it is doubtful that you'll muster up the courage to raise your hand to state your answer.



In life, every little thing we do lies in our ability to believe that we will succeed. But realistically, all of us go through a period of self-doubt - when we think we do not deserve to be happy…when we think other people are better than us… and when we feel scared to fail. But there are a few tips to help develop self-belief.



YOU CAN LEARN TO BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. If you think you cannot do something, assess your personal capabilities. You may be pleasantly surprised to discover that you are far more talented than most people. You are more intelligent and street-wise. You have a better grasp of reality, since you're not perched too high up on a pedestal. You can change your belief in yourself - improve or tweak it, learn the good, and unlearn the bad. As you go through life, you set out into the journey of self-discovery.



STOP LISTENING TO THAT EVIL TWIN. Now that you're old enough, you know that you have the ability to tune out that negative voice whispering into your ear that "you're no good." Your ultimate downfall is your disbelief in your abilities. No person plunging into murky waters will ever survive if he/she does not learn to fight off his insecurities.



TURN YOUR WEAKNESSES INTO STRENGTHS. Remember this, because it will guide you into reality - No person is perfect. Everyone has weaknesses. But also keep in mind that no person is completely devoid of strengths. Knowing what your weaknesses are is the first step. Next, focus on the improvement of these weaknesses such that they are converted into strengths - this is the true gauge of a human's ability to turn adversities into success. This part of being human.



DEVELOP YOUR STRENGTHS EVEN MORE. Make a list, and believe that you can develop them so that no one else is as good as you are. A lot of people are not really very talented, but they have tons of self-confidence, thus tricking others into thinking that they are able to do better than anyone else. Do the same.



IF YOU'RE TOO EMBARASSED TO SEEK ONE, THEN BE YOUR OWN MOTIVATIONAL COACH. Every time you feel doubts forming in your head, jolt your own self into reality. There's something really great about being your own "coach" - no other being will discover that you have doubts. Why must the world know about your insecurities? Let others believe that you ooze with self confidence!



DEVELOP A BRAND NEW CONCEPT OF "YOU." This is the "you" minus all the initial doubts, weaknesses and insecurities. Create the new you - an uber-confident, self-sufficient and successful individual. You will find that this final step is your ultimate step to the top.





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Michael Griffiths is the CEO and Founder of Secrets Of A Super Life, providing individuals with personal development strategies to increase their purpose, passion, happiness and life fulfilment. For your free life success pack please visit http://www.mysuperlifetoday.com

Article Source: http://www.articlealley.com/http://mgriffiths.articlealley.com/the-self-belief-you-need-for-life-2411045.html

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I Have a Promised Future by my Own Ability And Intelligence

Author: Ying Lizhen

　　I like my bosses, both of them. They're quite wonderful, eye-catching and knowledgeable men. But, they're also unaware, problems and useless, just like most of brilliant folks usually do, they think they can get over every issue and actually not that simple. And when the issues come out, they may become idiotic and dropping management. Sometimes, I experience furious on them, but I still like them. Anyway, earlier or later I have to depart this organization, because they can only provide a job, but it's very challenging to cope. They seek the services of envious professionals and administrators, well; I acknowledge that I carry discomposure to those individuals, because I'm excellent. But, I think they should be more self-confident. Genuinely I think my businesses never provide them with enough protection, and they never experience really functioning steadily. I have a guaranteed upcoming by my own capability and intellect, that's why I always experience better than them.

　　My both bosses actually withstand a lot about me. I'm an extremely personnel but having bad composure at all. Mostly I indicate my details reasonably, but they really don't have a very far perspective. I really want to help, but I can't carry so many ridiculous issues returning out over and over again and unpleasant me. You're the most intelligent guy I've ever met. But, you should be cautious about your bad style. You're an excellent man, really. But you're not an excellent leader. You never know how to cope with issues. And I don't like your understanding completely. I need to deal with against Manager Chen, even if I know he's your best dog. Could you please just provide someone more trustable? I don't like individuals reckless and he's obviously NOT real.

　　These types of the unexpected happen regularly. Sometimes I really don't know how some of them can increase to the opportunities of organization administrators, professionals or CEO's. When they don't have actual management capabilities, they would destination to incorrect suggestions, treatment of personnel, absconding of responsibilities and dereliction of responsibilities. An excellent leader should be able to deal with downturn with assurance, vigor, excellent thinking. They can seek advice from able, knowledgeable and reliable workers in places where they don't have experience and that is how highly effective corporations are run.

　　Sometimes when personnel run into issues or creates an error, the leader should realize that she has tried her best and should motivate to try again. A leader does not need to know everything but he has to neck responsibilities. An eating place operator does not need to be a professional make but he can still run an effective eating place. Unfortunately, I have seen quite of lot of businesses, who just come to the workplace, yell, factor hands and fingers at a few workers, make anxiety and consider that as having settled downturn.

Article Source: http://www.sooperarticles.com/self-improvement-articles/have-promised-future-my-own-ability-intelligence-778931.html

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5 Self Confidence Tips You Can Start Using Today

By Trevor Johnson

Self confidence is often a fragile state. It's easy for our view of ourselves to get dented or damaged. Often with very little help from anyone or anything. It sometimes seems that our self confidence is like a bubble, just waiting to be burst. Here are 5 simple tips that will help you to boost your self confidence.



1. Smile more often



Smiling is infectious. If you don't believe me, smile at a few people over the next few hours. Don't grin like a maniac (that just puts other people off), just allow yourself to smile naturally. You'll be pleasantly surprised how many people will smile back. Which, in turn, makes them seem friendlier and more approachable, which will help with your self confidence levels.



2. Dress smart



Yup. The old chestnut of dress for success. First impressions count: if you're in scruffy jeans and your head is covered by a beanie or hooded top, people will judge you on that. If you're smartly dressed (jeans can still be OK here, just make sure they're smart and clean) then you'll be treated with more respect which will have a positive effect on your self confidence levels.



3. Find a role model



They can be real or fictional it doesn't matter. But find a role model who you can imitate and "call on" when you find yourself in a situation where you'd normally be lacking in confidence. Think through the situation and ask yourself how your role model would react the situation you find yourself in. Then implement the answer. Even if you don't get the result 100% perfect, chances are that it will be better than you'd previously have managed,



4. Fake it



Confidence is an act. No-one need know that you're faking it unless you're covered in beads of sweat and shaking like a leaf. Practice your fakery at home if you get a chance - stand in front of a mirror and don't be afraid to speak out loud, even if the rest of your family think that you're cracking up. The more you practice, the more natural your new "fake" self will become until it gradually replaces the old, lacking in confidence, self.



5. Turn every result positive



Especially at the beginning, chances are that you won't achieve a perfect state of exuding confidence every time you set out to do so. That doesn't matter - it's perfectly natural and all part of what makes us humans. But unless the event was a total catastrophe, there's a good chance that there was at least something positive in it. Sieze on that positive part and expand on it in your mind's eye. Intensify the good feeling that you had for at least part of your encounter. Make the sounds and colors more vivid in the same way you used to turn up the colors and contrast on your television set as a child. Revel in the moment where your confidence levels were at an all time high and then re-live that moment the next time.



About the Author: Get more self confidence tips and find out how to use self confidence hypnosis to boost your confidence levels.



Source: www.isnare.com

Permanent Link: http://www.isnare.com/?aid=685682&ca=Self+Help

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